You Cannot “Get Her Back”

Robin Charles Thicke…what the FUCK were you thinking?

There are certain things in life you do not do. This? This video is one of them.

Dude.

….

………….

…………….…

DUDE.

From the day Paula announced she was done with your (alleged) cheating/drinking/drugging ways, you told everyone that you wanted her back.

Cool. You publicly announced that you fucked up. Okay.

But the self-flagellation that is this music video?

Dude. DUDE.

Canadians have a rep for saying “sorry” a lot…you have taken sorry to a whole ‘nother level. You went from “Lost Without You” to “I’ve Lost My Fucking Mind”.

I understand that as a public figure, you are used to people wanting to be all up in your business. You’ve talked openly about Paula being your muse, your family, your childhood. But you do not… YOU DO NOT publicly put this level of private business out there. ESPECIALLY since Paula seems to be the type of celeb that gives the public “just enough” to keep her interesting, but not so much that people feel like they’re sitting in her living room.

IF these text messages are real…if these were actual text exchanges between you and your wife about a very private matter…you have fucked up royally.

Gentlemen: this video is the equivalent of posting screen shots on FB of texts. This video is equal to you running around talking to all her friends about the circumstances of the breakup in order to be seen as the injured party. This is no different from sending (not so) subtweets about the breakup. This is whiny, passive aggressive, egomaniacal, bullshit.

Rallying support to get the girl back is the kind of shit that works in movies. NOT real life. This? This is embarrassing. I feel embarrassed for Paula. Because unlike most women, Paula just won’t have friends and family saying “girl, you should at least talk to him”, she’s going to have TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, AND Star Magazine saying it.

This is NOT a grand romantic gesture. YOU are not Lloyd Dobler.

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When YOU are the one who has fucked up, YOU need to give time and space. Some people can forgive and come back from a hurt…some are gone forever. The REAL grand gesture would be to admit this…to YOURSELF. Telling me, my friends, my family, (and in your case, the English speaking world) “sorry” means fuck all if I know you’re going to do it again.

But she’s the love of my life…

Okay. Let’s look at that. I love love. I love when people fall in love. I love when people stay in love. Despite my cynicism, I have loved, and can’t wait to meet the love of my life.

If she is indeed the love of your life, then you should’ve fucking treated her that way when you had her. But you didn’t and now she’s gone. Does that mean you can only love her if she’s “yours”?

NO.

You can prove your love by wanting what’s best for her, and giving her what is best for her. Guess what buttercup? YOU are not what’s best for her right now. Post breakup, that means space. That means time to heal/reflect/reassess. You may be convinced that in your heart of hearts that you’re the best thing that ever happened to her, but your actions silence ALL your words – especially the ones like “sorry”, “I didn’t mean it”, and “I wrote a whole album about you”.

(Dude. If those texts are real and she really wrote “I don’t care.”? you should’ve stopped there. That shoud’ve been the end of it.)

This is the scary thing about love; you put your heart in someone else’s hands and hope they don’t crush it. In a scenario like this, not only have you crushed her heart, but also she STILL holds yours. She could be petty and crush it (i.e. DATE ALL THE MEN AND MAKE SURE YOU FIND OUT), or – because she’s loved you and STILL loves you – she can put it aside until she decides whether or not to give it back, or renew what was there before.

You cannot force her hand. Do not force her hand when she is still holding on to your heart. Do NOT force her hand with a #hashtag.

Can you come back from this? You went too far…if you ever make it back, it’s gonna be a looooong way back…

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