A Man With Good…Taste

Man… the things I find in my inbox after a hiatus…

A reader has asked me what he can do to taste better. While his girlfriend willingly swallowed, he has noticed that she isn’t exactly enthusiastic about it.

Darling boy, unless you’re doling out mimosas or banana flavoured smoothies every time you… finish, chances are she’s not going to enjoy the taste. But, if you think about it, what you take in is what you’ll put out.

So…let’s give it a shot (pun intended).


How much water are you drinking? Water flushes toxins out of your system.

Less toxic loads seem like a win. You’ll also feel better overall.

Cut out cigarettes and drugs…

Speaking of toxins, these are technically pollutants. Ask any ex-smoker how much better they feel after quitting. Oh, and don’t argue for “natural” smokes either. You ever smell your breath after you’ve been smoking a joint? Yeah. No thank you.

Natural Sugar

Sugars from fruits as opposed to processed sugars are also known to help improve the taste. Tropical fruits, citrus fruits (in moderation), apples, etc. all make for tastier spunk. (I guess this will be about as close to a smoothie as you’ll get…?

Avoid Garlic and Onions

Bad breath. Bad spunk. It’s pretty much a no brainer…

Vegetarian >>>>>>Paleo

Mmmm. Meat. Meat. Meat. Oh, so much meat. Which makes you spunk taste salty and nasty. Also, eggs contain sulfur, which also contributes to saltier spunk.

Eat Foods High in Chlorophyll

Turns out, mom was right. Eat your greens. Foods high in chlorophyll are said to improve the taste of semem. Those wheatgrass shots at Booster Juice…? Grab one tomorrow instead of that Americano at Starbucks.

Cut down the coffee and drink more peppermint tea…

Coffee is bitter. Peppermint is one of the most popular flavours of gum.

Again, this is pretty much a no brainer.

A different kind of cinnamon challenge…

(In my best Mary Poppins voice) Adding a spoonful of cinnamon to your oatmeal helps the semen go down…

Okay. But here’s the real deal… the majority of women I know DON’T swallow. Not just because of taste, but because it’s…GROSS. It’s a Fear Factor challenge waiting to happen every time a woman goes down on you. Texture. Smell… it’s all just so…

But, if you’re going to try and convince her that you are a one-man smoothie operation, you can start by putting the right ingredients in the blender. Dieticians say that it takes about 24 hours for the body to secrete what you’ve eaten, so keep that in mind before you scarf down a big ol’ bowl of chili for dinner.

Ladies, what say you? Do you swallow? Any other tips I can provide?


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