Quick note: yes. I’ve been really awful about posting. Shit goes sideways sometimes…more on that later.
But, I’ve also been absent because I’ve been scheming. Planning. Plotting.
All for you…
How many times have I criticized you guys for your approach? Your bad pick up lines? Your foolish ass ways when you want to introduce yourself to a woman, and perhaps get laid?
Let’s face it, you’ve been in search of coochie, and I keep telling you you’re doing it wrong.
One day, a guy who was getting in person advice said, “DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD YOU WOMEN MAKE IT TO TALK TO YOU?!!?”
Me: arched brow…side eye…dramatic sigh…
WE don’t make it hard.
It IS hard.
Yes. I totally recognize how difficult it is to approach someone you fancy/want to shag, propose marriage to, go on vacation with, or have meaningful conversations with. I do.
I watch you in the club try to break through that circle of dancing women (oh gawd that circle!) to talk to the one you want to talk to, only to be chased off by her “protective” friend(s). Yeah…
Or, to be rejected because she says, “thanks, but I’m just out for fun with my girls tonight.”
I see you when you try to buy one woman a drink, but end up blowing your budget just to buy a round for her AND her friends.
I see you when you’re looking at the hot chick at the gym, but you don’t know what to say. What if she has a boyfriend? What if she thinks you’re a HGH head?
(sidebar: a lot of women find this approach odd, because many find they don’t look their “best” at the gym…but that’s a blog for another day.)
I see you checking the girl out on the streetcar, the one reading the book you just read. You have the opening line…you can do it…
BUT, is the guy sitting beside her reading a book just another passenger? Or are they a couple, content in their own silence?
There are so many unknowns. I know.
What if I made it easier for you?
What if there was a place where the women who were out…were women who were LOOKING? What if they were out solely to meet men? No girls’ night out bullshit. No boyfriends. No unknowns. But women, who were also – get this – looking to shag, propose marriage to, go on vacation with, or have meaningful conversations with.
Here’s the thing: Nightclubs are clubs. They’re not conducive to meeting and mating.
But a lounge, with a Singles’ Night?
A night that encourages people to meet and mingle?
Yup. I got that.
We’re call it TEASE…start with a drink. Where you finish is up to you.
What about the circle HLBB? All those single girls who form that fucking force field?
We got a hostess. Her goal? To break the circles…
But, I’m kind of shy…
That’s why our hostess is friendly…and married. Her mission? To facilitate…
What about the girl busy texting in the corner? How do I talk to her?
Oh, we’ve got that covered too…it’s about face to face communication, NOT phone to phone communication! So, you choose. If you choose your phone then you pay a levy to keep it by your side. Five dollars, please.
If you choose to mingle, then you phone-check it with me. In plain sight. Now, as you might notice, there’ll be two camps – The Phone Camp vs. The Phone-Less Camp. Now, if someone from The Phone-Less Camp breaks down and retrieves his/her phone before the end of the evening, the levy collected will buy a round of drinks for the opposing team, The Phone Camp.
BUT… let’s say they’re good and no one breaks down, then the levy collected will buy a round of drinks for the team, The Phone-Less Camp. Got it? Good. Now, choose wisely.
When does this happen?
NEXT FRIDAY – MARCH 22, 2013
It’s Happy Hour-ish. 6 – 9 (insert your own dirty joke here; I thought it…)
p.s. I’m an amazing wingman… I’ll even slip you a condom should you need one… 😉