The 12 Women You Meet in Life: The All In

This will be my last “The 12 Women You Meet in Life” post…

It’ll be my last for a couple of reasons. 1) I’ve written about more than 12 women (I think this is number 15!), and 2) I think it’s time for a new monthly focus in the new year…I’m now taking suggestions.

Now this woman. This woman I’ve given the most amount of thought to…examples for the others came easy…I had interacted with the others, and for a couple (a few, some) of the posts, I could easily fit the description. But this woman? This last example.

I didn’t think I knew her…and I definitely have never been her.

The 12 Women You Meet in Life: The All In Woman


(Take your minds out of the gutter)

I’ve been hanging around a poker player for the last little bit and the term has come up a few times. For those who don’t know, “All-In” is the term used during a game when a player has moved all of their chips into the pot. It’s usually used when the stakes are high or when a player knows they have a great hand. Basically, they’re willing to bet all they have because they know they can win.

Think about a woman who was all about YOU. Not you as an individual, but the two of you as a unit…a team…a duo…a partnership. She was/is kind of scary isn’t she? She can map out your five-year plan, or hell, even where you want to go on vacation next year and when she does this, it doesn’t cause you to curl up in the fetal position. You kind of just go along with it. Because it feels right.

When you complain about your job, she’s right there in your corner, figuring out exit strategies, or ways to negotiate with your boss for more money/time off/a better office/an assistant.

When you’re shopping, she picks out stuff that looks good on you…and you don’t hate it.

When you’re in a group, she refers to the two of you as “we”. As in “we went to that restaurant and loved it.”

When making decisions about her life, such as work, school, or buying a new bed, she solicits your opinion, and listens to what you have to say.

She’s invested in the two of you as a team. She’s interested in your life beyond the walls of your relationship. She views you two as inseparable.

She’s all in.

Because she is so absolutely certain that you are the ONE and that your future is together.

Are YOU that certain?

An All-In doesn’t lose herself in your identity (that’s a Shape Shifter)…nor is she even trying to get you locked down. She doesn’t have to try, nor is she delusional about where this is headed. She is certain. Her focus is clear.

She will declare to the world – okay, on her FB wall – that you are the bestest boyfriend that anyone could ever wish for…and you know what? You’ll like the status…maybe not actually hit “Like”, but you will actually like that she’s telling people this. HER friends will congratulate you on that new promotion/big ticket buy/new bus pass because she’s boasted to them about it…your individual achievements are wins for the team. You’re a natural part of her day, her thoughts, her feelings…and in return, she hopes (expects) you to feel the same

Do you?

The All-In will take you by surprise. She’s not out on the “hunt” for you, and she’s not sitting in wait. She may or a part of your life already (personally, I think she isn’t…) but until now, you’ve totally been okay being an island. Then, boom.

There she is.

A number exchange leads to a date, a date leads to more, more leads to dating, and within a relatively short period of time, she’s a part of your life. The All In has met the fam, met the friends, moved in with you on the weekends…which of course, leads to full-time cohabitation…because hey, what’s the point in paying for two places? Plus, All In’s have, gone away with you (remember, she planned it), and travel involved crossing a major body of water (I consider this a true relationship milestone, btw).

But you? You my darling boy are okay with this…yes?

Your boys are kind of freaking out. There’s less time spent with THEM. You seem to be moving TOO fast. Your mother wants to know the deal. Your trusted female advisor (sister, cousin, friend, ex, etc) has sat you down and said “really?”

You’ve thought about it.

You are.

But you’re stuck with one little kernel of doubt…

“Why me?”

Why you indeed. She’s picked you and you’re working some punk ass job that you hate. She’s picked you and you haven’t even finished school. She’s picked you and your ass is still living at home with your parents (recession is a bitch, yo). She’s picked you, but you don’t know which fork to use at dinner. She’s picked you even though you’re bald(ing). She’s picked you when instead of a six-pack, you have a 2-4.

She’s. Picked. You.

She’s picked you because she sees the hand she’s been dealt. She’s added up her cards. She has a good idea of what the house is holding. She knows she has the winning hand.

So, she stacks up her chips and pushes them into the pot. She’s All In.

You better either call her bet or fold. Remember, if you call it, you can see her cards. If you fold, she doesn’t have to show you a thing.

The stakes are high. Play wisely.

Famous All Ins: Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton, Jada Pinkett-Smith



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