Nothing Ventured…Nothing Gained

“So, uh… why haven’t you locked that down yet?”

This was said to an acquaintance of mine when he went to a family function last year. The family member being HIS mother and the girl in question was someone he’d been dating for a few months.


When everyone thinks you’ve found the one and is calling you out (or crazy, or stupid, or lazy) for not making things official with this great girl…what do you do?

I’ll admit it. I’ve said it many times to a guy when meeting the lady du jour. After an appraisal (oh yes, I have appraised) I’ll either say

“she’s –insert the briefest of pauses here – nice…” 

(translation: “you could do so much better”)


“uhm, lock that down” 

(translation: “honey, you got a good one here, are you waiting for a sign from above?”)

I’m a firm believer that you should never hesitate on a good thing. If it’s good right now, it will continue to be good tomorrow. The only REAL difference is the guarantee as to whether it’s yours tomorrow. But, still…you hesitate.

This hesitation? That’s what creates the girl who got away…she only got away because you let her go.

This is when people look at you a few years from now and say, “dude, what happened? She was (insert a list of wonderful attributes here) and she had a fine ass. How did you let that go?”

You’ll shrug, and maybe mumble a weak answer. But we know why…

You thought she’d stick around and wait until you made up your mind.

Now, there are some that do. They’ll wait…and wait…and wait. But for some, they’ll wake up one morning and think to themselves that there is more to life than what is in front of them. They’ll look over at your sleeping form and they won’t think that you’re the end of that search; you’re the roadblock.

“We need to talk…”

A week later, you’ll be out with your boys celebrating your freedom, when you’ll suddenly have to leave. You forgot that you had a thing in the morning and it’s time for you to sober up and go home. But next week? Yeah, next week you’re going IN.

Except there is no “something”. You thought you saw her and freaked out. You smelled her perfume and your eyes started to well up (and don’t blame it on weed, drink, or allergies either). You realized her birthday is in a few days and for the first time, you know EXACTLY what to get her. Except…

So you call (drunk dial) on the way home and she doesn’t answer.

Even worse, she does. Even worse than that, she’s OUT CELEBRATING HER FREEDOM. Even worse than that, she’s home and no, you can’t come over.

Life sucks, eh?

A guy asked me about the regret moment; that moment when you want her back. Not just because the sex was good…not just because your mom liked her…not just because she was smart. SHE was – and is – “the one”. But you didn’t know how to commit. You didn’t know whether you should’ve locked it down right then and there. You could now kick yourself. But why kick a man when he’s already down?

They say if you love something, set it free. If it was meant to be yours, it’ll come back to you…


Lock it down when you have it, because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Don’t become your own roadblock.

Look, it’s better to say you had her and you lost her, than to be the guy that missed out…


3 thoughts on “Nothing Ventured…Nothing Gained

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