I had a few… interesting encounters with members of the opposite sex this past weekend. As I’m highly critical (pretend to be surprised by that, okay?), my responses to these encounters inspired me to rant. However, when relaying the details of these encounters to men, the responses were universal. Something along the lines of “you should feel complimented by that…”. From the women I told the stories to, their responses were also universal – and the exact opposite of the responses I received on the male side.
Basically, guys think they’re doing something positive, and girls think these guys are doing something negative. But the women are my friends; we tend to think alike. So the question remains: would these guys be successful with any woman?
Instead of me ranting about how I think these men failed, I thought I would put together seven scenarios for other women to comment on.
Ladies, I’m asking you to read these scenarios (not all mine, by the way) and show in the comments which one of these seven guys would get your number…
Scenario one: Girl is walking down the street on a Friday night, alone (it’s about 2:30 in the morning). Guy spots girl and, to get her attention, steps in front of her, grabs her wrist to pull her closer and says “beautiful, lemme holla at you for a minute…” The girl rejects the advance rudely, citing the hour and the approach. The guy responds, “fuck you, you stingy bitch!”
Scenario two: Girl is sitting with friends in a bar listening to a band. Guy approaches her and says, “everyone is telling me I have to meet you…and you’ll want to know me, because I’m a nice guy…” Girl says, “no, no one has told you that because I have no idea who you are…” Guy then responds, “well, I think we should hook up anyways…”
Scenario three: Girl is walking through a crowded nightclub to get from the bathroom back to her friends. There is a guy in her way but he hasn’t seen her yet. When his friend indicates he has to move, the guy turns to the girl, apologizes, and jokes that he is the official greeter for the party. He then asks if she is having a good time and tries to get her to stay and talk with him. She refuses the advances, but the friend steps in, joking that the guy is famous (not true). Girl calls bluff. The guys then continue to joke with her to get her to stay.
Scenario four: Girl is grocery shopping in a farmer’s market and is picking out fresh produce. Guy approaches her and says “so what are you making me for dinner tonight?”
Scenario five: Girl is walking up stairs wearing a low-cut top. Guy at top of stairs sees girl (and her “girls”) and while looking openly at her breasts says, “you’re beautiful”. She rejects the advance. She doesn’t stick around to hear what his response is.
Scenario six: Guy sees girl walking down the street one Thursday evening. She passes him. He runs to catch up with her, drops to one knee and proposes. She says no. He then asks for her phone number instead.
Scenario seven: Guy sees girl on Facebook via another friend’s account. He messages her by saying, “hi, what are you saying later?” (she’s never met him before).
(bonus points if you can figure out which ones happened to me…)
UPDATE: I’ve been asked, so for the record, each of the men in the scenarios I experienced were good-looking. For the scenarios that didn’t happen to me, the guys were attractive/hot/good-looking. But as soon as they opened their mouths, they got ugly.
And I have two more! These two scenarios happened to me on the same night. One good. One bad.
Scenario 8: I’m leaving a party, tired (exhausted really) and as I head out the door, the DJ puts on Step in the Name of Love by R. Kelly; a song that almost demands that you have a partner to dance to it. As I walk through the crowd, a guy sticks his hand out and says, “now, here’s a beautiful woman I can dance with! C’mon girl, let’s do this!” and starts to step. I oblige by stepping a bit to the left and right, but really darlings, I was dead on my feet. As I pull away, he says “aw c’mon now, at least stay to the end of the song!” I explain I’m leaving and he says “okay. Get home safe and I’mma catch you next dance…(big smile)” Had I not been so tired. I would’ve stayed until at least the end of the song.
Scenario 9: As I leave said party and make two quick stops, I pass a guy on the street. He says “hi…” and I say “hi” back; but continue walking. From behind me, I hear “so, are you heading home?” I turn and it turns out he’s turned around to catch up to me (at little creepy since I’m walking by myself…). I explain that yes, I’m done for the night and I’m heading home. Now this guy was pretty hot. Until he said, “so are you going home to someone?”
Me:”that’s pretty forward…?”
Him: “I’m just trying to find out if you live alone. Do you?”
Me: “Okay, that’s really inappropriate to ask at this hour. I know where you’re headed with this, and I’m not answering that.”
Him: “You have a great smile, I was just curious.”
Me: “I haven’t smiled?” (I rarely smile with strangers…at most you’ll get a head nod…no matter how cute you are) .
Him: “yeah you did. So c’mon. I’m curious. Do you live alone?”
Me: “you do realize you’re asking me personal questions and you haven’t even asked me my name?”
He then got a fake name. I got the urge to get business cards that simply say “you need my help” with the HLBB URL on them. He then asked if I smoked weed (SMH, no), what my ethnicity was (“I’m from Toronto”), and if I’m interested in hanging out tonight.