Come and Talk to Me: A Recap

Whoa. What a night.

When we started planning Come and Talk to Me a few weeks ago, we didn’t know what to expect. We thought men would balk at the idea of just talking… and we were (happily) proven wrong. We learned quite a bit on Thursday night; things that ALL guys should take to heart – and ladies, you know we learned a few lessons too.

Take note: the guys who got up to speak? Quite a bit did their homework. For instance, one learned that Max’s favourite word was “fuck” and used it to his advantage. Another read posts from the various judges so he had something to say… but the key lesson learned:

You must marinate her mind…
You must marinate her mind…
You must marinate her mind…

That’s all I’m going to say about that. Whew.

This was from an ode to the female orgasm and well, as Max noted, our darling man obviously pays attention to a woman when she’s having an orgasm – you would do well to pay attention as well.

If you’re at a loss and don’t know what to say, research classic films for some classic lines… yes, my darling boys a little innuendo goes a really long way. One guy researched the train scene from North by Northwest and the line “I like your flavor…” had the women applauding. (Ahem…look it up)

Don’t ramble. Get to the point. There is a difference between taking the scenic route to the point (long flowing conversation) and rambling (because you’re lost). If you find yourself getting lost, take a breather, stop, start again.

Nervous? Don’t worry about it. Don’t apologize for it. Nervous shows you’re human…nervous shows you care. To paraphrase one of the other guys: why should you be nervous talking to a woman you find attractive?

Investigate and ask questions. Don’t instigate to get a debate going. While it does get a conversation rolling, you just come off as the guy who was a rabble-rouser.

Good looks WILL get you points…but those points will automatically be deducted if you say things like “when in doubt, whip it out” (yes, he actually said that).

Look us in the eye. Of all the men who spoke only 2 looked at the judges. We noticed. They noted it.

Spontaneity for the win. One guy came out just to see and was inspired enough that he got up to speak, get some advice and ended his time quoting Jeru…winning over all the judges (and a lot of votes).

Act on something because you want to…NOT because you expect something in return. Compliments, kind gestures, and other acts of what can be considered “chivalry” should be given freely. That being said… LADIES: Some of you really – I mean really – need to really appreciate chivalry. Embrace it and enjoy it.

Don’t afraid to be smart. Apparently you darling men want to be intellectually challenged and chased. Then show it…conversations that start with “hey” and doesn’t pick up from there? Tsk tsk tsk.

Poems and flowery speech? They work. Sometimes. Occasionally. On girls who like poems…

We like when you make us laugh. We DON’T like when you try to be a comedian.

Over all, the guys who did well did so because they were prepared. Not in the sense that they prepared a speech/poem/idea and recited it from memory… they were prepared because they used their knowledge and experience as the basis of their conversation. They added in some research, gave real life examples and said what was on their mind. It wasn’t a lyric, a line or a hook…it was him.

Yes. Say what’s on your mind…you’d be surprised how much we like honesty. Honesty is not rude…honesty is not cruel. Honesty is from the heart.

Speak your heart and hers will follow.

The Winner

Yes, he used the word “fuck”, yes, he had on Air Force One (and yes, he said he likes to fuck in them), and yes, he has very warm brown eyes which I got to see up close. But more than that…he got the room engaged, he spoke his mind and made us laugh. Before I even announced the winner, some of the GUYS who participated were cheering for him.

Darling Jimmy,

Tonight, you’ve made a room full of women smile, and even more importantly you’ve given them hope. When they left here tonight they left thinking, “yes…there are still some men out there who can talk to a woman”

Not flirt, not insult, not argue, but talk…they way only a grown man knows how…

Your intelligence and eloquence did more than just impress us.

It made us want you.

These are your bragging rights…in writing and approved by the powerful ladies that be.

Let it be known that on June 23, 2011… you were declared TORONTO’S MOST CUNNING LINGUIST
Congratulations to Jimmy “Jimmy Smalls” Soares, who is Toronto’s Most Cunning Linguist!


Special thanks again to:

Skye Blue, The Man Sam Sharpe and Elizabeth Rose of…

Lily, Ms. Savannah Goldlust of Erotica By Savannah…

Max, of the one and only…

Jeff and the team Tequila Bookworm for their hospitality…

The team at Good For Her for the bag of goodies for our ladies in the audience

BlogTO for putting us on their culture radar…

The Grid for coming to observe…

and most of all…

To the men who were brave enough to come out and talk to us.


Due to demand, yes…there will be another “Come and Talk to Me” next year. In the meantime stay tuned as we plan more fun for you all this summer.


7 thoughts on “Come and Talk to Me: A Recap

  1. That was so much fun! Thanks for letting me crash. And consider this my public apology to any of the darling men I may have offended with my Simon Cowell-esque feedback.

    • Any time!
      (meaning consider yourself booked for next year)

      Oh, and guys: if she’s Simon, I’m Cruella DeVille… be thankful I wasn’t judging.

  2. i had a blast!
    it was great to meet twitter peeps in real life and to take the men from behind their blackberries and iphones and just..TALK THE TALK.
    til the next episode….

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