I want you to stop and think for second…
If you have a lady, a love, or an object of your lustful affection, I want you to think about what was that thing, that personality trait that put you over the top against the others.
You know there were others. She had options.
Some, not as good looking. Others not so…hung. There were the ones who were smarter. Or richer. Blah blah blah…
So what made you so damn different?
Do you still have it?
A couple of weeks ago, I asked the ladies of Twitter what they considered a deal breaker. What personality trait must a man possess that if he loses it…he’s gone?
Manners cannot die once you get the coochie. We watch how you are with serving staff, strangers on the sidewalk, and the bartender at the club. We want to know that the manners are on point because it’s in your nature…and not because you think it’s a tactic to get our panties wet. If you are naturally ill-mannered, it will show…and once it does – bye bye rude bwoy.
This happens a lot with you guys. You reach out once, twice, three times a day. Texts, phone calls, emails, gchats, special veiled tweets that only she can understand, Facebook posts, skywriting…and then…
But it’s not just quantity darling boys, it’s the QUALITY. If you start off the relationship talking to us about things in your life that are deemed important or hell, even of interest, then we take interest. As a relationship deepens, the things that become important involve her.
Then, as the relationship progresses, you kind of fall off. For example: if you’re angry, you become less inclined to talk it out. You tell her things are “fine”, when she can tell they’re not. So, she presses and you retreat. She gets frustrated and boom goes the front door. If that happens enough times, she ain’t coming back through.
Now, if you can’t string a sentence together to begin with, I suggest reading. Reading improves your word count, the availability of topics you can discuss and makes you smarter. Smart is sexy. A man who has his way with words gets the gates to open, you hear me? I know many women who will not go near a guy who can’t hold a conversation for more than 30 minutes. A friend of mine once joked that there was a direct connection between conversational stamina and sexual stamina…
Not your testicles, I’m assuming both of those have descended. I’m talking about your grit. The women of my generation were raised to be more assertive and stronger than our mothers…and we find that strength usually attracts strength.
But sometimes…not so much…
So stand up for what you believe in…even if it’s the minority opinion. Don’t back down in an argument. Go after what is yours as long as you deserve it. Don’t be a wuss about your life.
By the way: assertiveness does not mean being an asshole…it means growing a spine.
As a I worked on this post, I realized that there was a common theme to the traits the women mentioned: these are things that come naturally. They’re not forced and we fall a little out of love with you when you let things like this slide.
Notice that none of the top three had anything to do with looks, or bank balances or even, well…even that (although it did rank high). Because we women can find a way to look past the superficial (okay, that’s a little hard to look past…heh “hard”)…hell, some women figure they can “change” those superficial things, but these things? They’re part of your value system, your belief system.
They need to be true to who you are.
(wow how after school special that sounds…again. But it’s true)
You become less of anything you are, then that becomes the ultimate deal breaker darling boys…don’t break any covenants with yourself and you won’t break any with her.