You know how to read. I assume this because you’re reading this blog.
Can use words in a sentence. Have a regular conversation like anyone else. You know enough about your car to get it fixed at the mechanic. You’ve handled a power tool or two.
She could kick Ken Jennings’ ass at Trivial Pursuit. She rebuilt the engine on her car. You downloaded a thesaurus app on your phone just so you could keep up in a conversation with her.
So you think that she’s too “smart/capable” for you.
I know what the problem is. You can’t solve the problem, fix the car, or figure out the answer.
It’s emasculating. You were raised by feminists, yet you’ve been conditioned to provide, take care and protect. It’s fucking confusing, innit?
You wonder if there’s anything you can do for her besides well companionship and sex. Okay. Maybe she only wants you because you’re dumb, but hot. Maybe it’s the sex. But have you thought that maybe she’s with you because you’re smart/capable at things she’s not?
I knew a girl who was studying some complicated psychiatry thing…she was a few paragraphs away from a PhD and her boyfriend was well, not the smartest guy in the room. I think he was a musician of some kind (can’t remember). At a house party, I listened to her talk and use words longer than the alphabet…he asked me if I believed in various conspiracy theories.
I had a candid conversation with her about her relationship once because I’ll admit it, I’m an intellectual snob. So I would think that a woman who was this smart, this fascinating and this talented would be with someone “equal” to her. She said that he was the most fascinating man she had ever met.
She spent all her time living inside her world and inside her head. She had met all the intellectuals you could imagine. She was fascinated that he could play songs note perfect on the piano after one listen and that he could play Jenga without figuring out the principles of physics that allowed him to beat almost anyone. They had been together for two years by the time I met them and she told me that after 6 months of dating, they got into a huge argument about their “status”. He said that he would never be able to “keep up” with her. When she heard that, she realized that she didn’t want him to keep up; she wanted him because he could take her in a different direction.
I wrote her recently because this topic was on my mind, and snuck in a “how are things going” with the guy. She said they had broken up for a few months. But then, around Christmas last year, he bought her a bottle of perfume. He figured that everyone always bought her books (which yes, she loves…but he was right) but no one expected that she would want perfume…or figured that she would’ve purchased it herself. Turns out, she knows a lot of stuff, but she doesn’t know how to make herself see the world the way he does. Or how to make her feel the way he does.
So, hunny bunnies…you could try to “keep up with her”…about if she’s not being condescending towards you or your interests, and she’s not saying you could be so much better if you , and she’s introducing you to friends (rather than her just calling you for sex), AND well…if she’s bloody well calling you, she doesn’t think that she’s too smart or capable than you. A woman who really is well deserving of you wants you for what you can do, not what you can be.
Lesson learned: before trying to keep up with Mrs. Jones…try to figure out what direction she wants you to take her in…