When playing the stocks, a good investment is when you invest a little and get back a lot. So, when is she worth it? When I speak of worth, I’m not talking dollars and cents here. I’m talking about what are you giving up, putting effort into, or risking your sanity/heart for…
When you look at that relationship return on the investment…is she worth it?
Investment Option 1: “Anita
I chose this name because when I was in high school, my friend H had a girlfriend named Anita. But she was so damn needy that we (i.e. he and I) used to refer to her as “I Need A…” behind her back…I need a ride…I need a new top… I need a phone call at least once a day telling me where you are and what you’re doing. I need a boyfriend who doesn’t have a female best friend… I need I need. I need. It was relationship exhaustion by proxy…
I thought that Anita was a result of teenage angst and insecurity, but I see a lot of Anita’s running around pretending at being grown. They think that the main role of the man in their life is to fulfill their needs. It’s one thing to want to put a smile on her face, but it’s really another when you feel like you’re doing all the chasing, putting in all the effort and basically doing all the doing while wondering when it’s going to pay off. A relationship should not leave a person feeling “what’s in it for me?” That’s a really low ROI.
Investment Option 2: “The Drama Queen”
I’ll admit, I’ve been called this by friends, lovers and even family members. But that’s because my life has had some real bullshit moments. But the Drama Queen in this scenario is the one who could win an Academy Award for her scenes. Every argument leads to a rehash of past transgressions. You get caught looking at another girl (because you all do it) and instead of a gentle or stern rebuke, you get a full on crying fit that includes “why don’t you think I’m pretty?!?” Doors are slammed. Your car has been keyed. She’s posted shocking things about your sex life on Facebook (when the little sidebar fully states that she’s in a relationship with you). She lives her life for an audience and you better be in the front row. The only thing about this movie is that you really don’t like the script, the director or the special effects – but those loves scenes are kinda hot. I always hear people complain about how shite a movie was after wasting 13 bucks on it. You can get a refund on movies if you leave before a certain amount of time has passed…so why do you stay until the end credits for this relationship?
Investment Option 3: “The Critic”
Nothing you do is good enough. Your clothes are wrong, your friends are dumb, you drink/party/work too much. You don’t work/party/drink enough. She asks for your opinion and then rolls her eyes before you get to the end of your sentence.
I think the term they’ve invented for guys like you is, uh… “henpecked”?
It’s normal to crave acceptance from your beloved, but this notion that men are “fixer uppers” or you can date a man who has “room for improvement” drives me up the wall. Relationships do have a certain level of compromise, but you are so in awe (i.e. intimidated) that you are constantly trying to live up to her to ideal. There’s nothing wrong with you liking Jackass movies…there is something wrong with you not watching them because “she” doesn’t like Jackass movies.
If the situation were reversed and a woman was constantly “henpecked” by her boyfriend, would we say that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship. So….. (insert long dramatic pause for effect here)
Whenever I hear someone (ahem, men) complain about the woman they’re with, the first question I ask is, “is she worth it?”