Vengeance vs. Revenge, the choice is yours…

Raise your hand if you have ever cheated.

Go on…I’ll wait.

You…in the corner who is reading that oh so important text message that you “just” got…uh huh. I see you. Raise your hand.

So let me ask: are you deserving of revenge? Or vengeance?

Trick question; they mean the same thing. Vengeance is a noun. Revenge is a verb.

So I will pose to you the scenario posed to me recently. Before we throw anyone to the lions, I’ll let you, my darling boys decide if this guy is deserving of vengeance or revenge. I know I just said that they mean the same thing, but for the sake of today’s post, we’ll define “vengeance” as the moments when a person who has done wrong gets what they deserve, and “revenge” will be when the wronged party makes sure that the person who has done wrong…gets what they deserve.

As with any good story, this one involves three characters. Boy, Girl A and Girl B.

Boy and Girl A have been dating for just over a year. Things are going well and, one night when he was out with friends, he meets Girl B. Yes, he has a girlfriend, but it’s not like he’s married, right? In fact, Girl B has more in common with our Guy and the connection is very much a mental one – it doesn’t hurt that he finds Girl B hot.

Things are just fine between our Guy and Girl A. But Girl B, well she lingers.

Well, we all know how small the world is. While out one night with friends, our Guy and Girl A bump into Girl B. Nothing awkward, because nothing has happened. Everyone gets along great including Girl A and Girl B – in fact, they become fast friends.

Another six months goes by and Girl A and Girl B become really good friends. Meanwhile, the relationship has continued between our Guy and Girl A, but well, something’s missing. Coming up on the two-year “make or break” point, our Guy is thinking that it’s time to make the break. There’s one little thing that keeps popping up when he thinks about it.

Yeah. Her. She’s not helping his decision at all.

So we fast forward another month and another night out with friends. But Girl A is not there. She’s gone on a girl’s weekend. The night gets later and well, our Girl B is there. She lingers.

She wakes up with our Guy the next morning.

(Ladies: put down your scarlet paintbrush for a second…this isn’t about her)

Girl A returns to town. Life continues. Until one night when our Guy and Girl A get into a huge ass fight. Our Guy ends up spilling the truth about that night with Girl B (I’ll pause while you collective go “damn son!”)

Girl A is stunned; she couldn’t figure out why Girl B – her friend – had kept her distance. But first, she has to deal with the immediate matter: her man of nearly two years just admitted to fucking her friend while she was out of town.

(how clichéd…)

She slowly walks out of our Guy’s apartment and takes a long walk. She calls the soon to be ex friend and declares her the Whore of Babylon. She goes back to our Guy’s apartment and declares the relationship over.

A couple of months later, our Guy is out with friends when he spots Girl A. Far from the screaming, crying woman he saw last. He is having a total rear view mirror moment, because she’s looking good.


1: She walks up to him and is so fucking polite he can’t help but squirm. He’s feeling the guilt; he’s actually broken out in a sweat. She knows this, and she just keeps talking about all the good things that have transpired in the past two months. Then she says, “it was good seeing you” and walks off.

2: When she realizes that he’s in the same spot, she pulls a Gossip Girl and posts on her Facebook wall “just spotted my ex, the one who fucked one of my friends while I was out of town. He looks like shit”.

(Yeah…warning: Facebook mobile can be dangerous…)

3: When he finally gets up the nerve to ask about the stuff he had left at her place, she says that she sold it/burned it/trashed it/gave it to charity.

4: When he does approach her to say “hey” she gives him a polite nod. She doesn’t scream, cuss or act bitchy in any way. She treats him how she would treat any other stranger.

So darling boys, what is vengeance and what is revenge? Does he deserve any of the above things?

The person who told me this story is waiting for your response.

Which one of the above actually happened in this scenario?

Which person sent me this story? Our Guy? Girl A?

Is there really a difference between revenge and vengeance or am I talking out of my ass?


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