Sigh. You, bottom feeder…yes you. The one who uses Facebook as your hunting ground. This is not cool.
I know what happens, you missed a party that your boy was at and you see that new pics were posted to Facebook. So you take a look at the gallery…
There she is. Tagged with a bunch of other girls in a pic. The most gorgeous woman you have seen this week. So you click on the link and her profile is one of the few out there that is still open.
“Add as Friend”
Before you click that link. Stop.
This is not eHarmony.
I see the similarities. You sign up for an account, there’s pictures, you share interests, both use blue and white colour schemes…why wouldn’t it work out?
Because. This is not eHarmony.
eHarmony is dating site…it’s for people who are serious about finding a relationship. It has a unique algorithm… c’mon son! It’s in the commercials! Guess what? There are no commercials for Facebook….there is no algorithm…these women aren’t looking for your bottom feeding ass when they log on to Facebook…they are looking for friends from elementary school to see who got married.
Let me bring it into real life for you.
Say your friend tells you about girl he met at a party and shows you a cell phone pic. She’s effing hot…sooooo, you find out where she lives, show up on her doorstep and say “hi! Let’s be friends!” Oh, wait, you wouldn’t do that? THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT ONLINE?! It’s one thing to meet the girl in real life and then look her up and connect on Facebook – social media is the new phone number – but just randomly hitting women up?
You’re bottom feeding. Stop it.
It is NOT like introducing yourself to someone you spot across the room at a party. It’s not like stopping a pretty girl on the street. It is LIKE you showing up on her damn doorstep asking to be friends.
Okay, so fine…I’ll give you this: what if you see her and you’re convinced that this woman is the woman of your wet dreams? That this is the woman you want to marry (and by “marry” I mean “wife for the winter”)?
Then you ask her friend to set up an introduction. You know, the one that just happens to be YOUR friend. Yeah. It’s just like in real life…you contact your mutual friend and say, “dude, I need to be introduced to this girl!” That way he can also let you know if it’s feasible. She may have a boyfriend…she may have a girlfriend…your boy may have already hit that…she may be batshit crazy and the only reason your boy took a pic with her so was that she wouldn’t follow him home.
Think before you click. Contact your boy and stop being a damn bottom feeder.