Don’t you hate being put on hold? Like when you have to call Rogers to fight the latest batch of mystery charges on your cell phone bill? Mmmhmm. We all hate being put on hold. Yet, there are those of you who will meet a woman who matches all the criteria you seek in a girlfriend or wife. But, instead of asking her out, or pursuing a relationship, you…
Put her on hold.
You know what I mean. She’s Mrs. Right, just not right now. You may have gotten out of a relationship. You may not feel ready to settle down. Blah blah fucking blah blah.
So. I ask you: what the fuck?
I’m not a big believer in fate, but if you meet that one woman who is relationship material, would you NOT want to at least ask her out on a date? You take her number…you have conversations with her…sometimes you even befriend her (which I seriously don’t get).
All in an effort (I think) to keep her on your radar, but never taking the next step. I know you guys think that this is a smart move – a tactical one even – because by keeping her on your radar, you won’t have to seek out Mrs. Right months or years from now, when you’ve sown all your oats. Because you will have already met her!
No, I’m not talking about getting pussy; I’m talking about being one. Yeah, I said it.
Let’s use a sports analogy, because I’m a little bit sexist and think that all men understand sports analogies. Say you own the Lakers and you have a star player that’s now a free agent. You know that by having this player on your team, you could win the championship…and the championship ring…
But, there are all those other players on the team that you could work with…should you let the free agent stay a free agent or would you want to lock that shit down and come out a winner?
Okay, not the strongest analogy…but you get where I’m going with this right?
What’s the deal with women being kept on the back burner? I actually have BEEN that girl put on the back burner. This guy has known me for a few years now and has repeatedly told people how great I am. But then it stops there. Geesh, not even a booty call. Over dinner with my girlfriends, we talked about all sorts of shit and apparently this is an “asshole” move practiced by many. I thought it was just me! But noooooo, a lot of you have done this at one point or another.
What’s the fear here? That you’ll fuck up a good thing because you’re not ready? When will you be ready? No, I’m not here to grind an ax with my personal Mr. Not Right Now…he’s confused me for years now. At this point, I don’t actually care. A girlfriend of mine (who is reading this and laughing) knows that I have even given her my blessing to go after him, because at this point, I’m thinking: “hell, just go after SOMEBODY dammit!” Yes, I’m at the point of apathy…in fact, after being on hold for so long, I don’t even think I would go out on a date with him. I’d hit it, hells yes…but yeah, I hung up a long time ago.
Before some smart ass says “well, why do you women have to wait for guys to make the first move?” I will say this: a) I don’t make the first move – it’s my ONE throwback tendency and b) I have been very flirty (which is very hard for me) and he has been responsive…but then he just stops. Besides, I’m not the only woman who has been put on hold. I know lots of men who get spooked when they are the ones pursued…so don’t give me that “modern woman” bullshit either.
Think about how frustrating it is when you’re on hold.
“We appreciate your business, please continue to hold. You estimated wait time is 6 months…”
I – and the other women out there – just want to know if you seriously expect us to be waiting. Or are you willing to take the chance that the future Mrs. Right, will be right there later on? If you have put (or are putting) a woman on hold, is this your way of saying you believe in fate? That if you two are truly meant to be, it will be? I’m too pragmatic for all that fate talk, so I will continue to call “pussy!” unless you can enlighten me and explain why you would risk letting your free agent go and make a champion out of some other dude.
We’re looking for answers here…so go ahead…tell me.