You Might Think You’re Getting an A for Effort…But Really, Stop Trying so Fucking Hard…

I’ve been debating with my BBFF for the past hour about a couple of situations that recently happened to me. If a woman is not feeling your vibe, not interested, or even dislikes you, is it worth it to try that much harder to change her mind?  You see darlings, I feel that there is a fine line between effort and trying too fucking hard.

Scenario 1

There was a guy that I had met a few months earlier, and who had tried to hit on my friend (yes…there’s a blog post about it). He showed up to a party I was at, and while I was hoping he wouldn’t recognize me, he did.

I was actually surprised, considering he barely said three words or even really looked at me that night; as I was not the goal. More importantly, I was patently ignoring him while he hit on my girl (he creeped me out that night). Well, he remembered me. He gives a smile and, I kid you not, points at me as if to say “ah, you!” I in return, just gave a disinterested nod. Throughout the night, he would come up to me and just give this…look. But not say anything. In fact, at one point, he just stood in my way and just looked at me, as if he was staring an opponent down in the ring.

A little later in the evening, a friend of mine came up to me with the Idiot in tow and says “This is my friend Idiot, I hear you don’t like him.”

(seriously? You’re coming to me with references? You’re an idiot)

Me: So?

My friend: I want you to be nice to him. For me. He’s good people

Me: No.

My friend: C’mon. For me.

Idiot boy: See what did I tell you!? She can’t handle real n*ggers like me! Yeah! She can’t handle this shit! I told you!

(okay, say it with me: WHAT THE FUCK?)

Me: Did your friend Idiot tell you how we met?

My friend: No.

Idiot boy exits stage left…

(Remember. Idiot didn’t hit on me; he hit on my friend…I cannot figure out why me being nice to him is so important)

Me to my friend: I’m sure he’s a great guy. I’m sure Idiot is a really good friend to you. He’s your friend, and I won’t hold it against you. But for me, he didn’t make that impression and based on that, I don’t NEED to do anything, let alone be nice to him…

Scenario 2

I’m at TwestivalTO with a (male) friend and having a good time, well at least until Gollum showed up…

Gollum: (to me) You better watch out for this guy (gestures to my friend). I’ve been watching him all night. I know what his game is. He’s been checking out other women, weighing his options. Just thought I’d warn you…

This is how Gollum started the conversation with me.  Not “hi, my name is…” just, boom! He knows my friend’s game. As for my friend’s game, he can have all the game he wants; he’s not with me.

Me: (to my friend) Do you know this guy?

My friend: No.

Me: (to Gollum) uhm. Okay.

Gollum: so what do you look for in a guy?

(are you going to tell me your name? Dang…)

Me: I’m not looking

Gollum: Pretend he’s not here. What do you look for in a man?

Me: I’m not looking. But if I was, there would be a height requirement…

Well, you would think from that, Gollum would’ve crawled back under the rock he came from. But noooo, Gollum wants the precioussss pussy. He’s going in for another attempt. Oh yeah, Gollum also had the misfortune of being a close talker, y’know the kind that must be up in your ovaries in order to get your number? Yeah, that kind.

So, I physically push Gollum away and explain personal boundaries in a very bitchy manner. He goes away…and comes back.

He wraps his arms around me in a hug — well, it felt like he was climbing on me with his little hobbit ass– and says, “You know I’m in love with you right? Because it takes a guy with a lot of confidence to come up to a girl like you and I’m that guy.”

(wait, you mean one who is here with another man?)

My friend then intervened, and, at the angriest I’ve even seen him, basically said “that’s enough now” and chased Gollum away.

In the first scenario, I would say Idiot was one of those people motivated by acceptance. Maybe – as my BBFF suggested – he was the last picked for the teams in gym class. Or has a big ego. But as far as I can tell, Idiot is known and liked by a lot of  people. So the goal I would say is the latter; he HAS to have people like him, because everyone likes him. Gollum was drunk, yes. But also motivated by the same goal; apparently he’s well known and liked as well…

So why?

It’s the challenge, I get it. Get the girl to like you. But sometimes, the challenge is not worth it. If she’s a bitch (ahem, like me), it’s not worth it. If she has turned you down more than twice, it’s not worth it. If she has a gaggle of friends around her acting like a barrier device, it’s not worth it. If you’re drunk and she’s not, it’s not worth it. Let me say it one more time: if she has expressed no interest or even worse, open dislike of you: IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT.

There are so many other women out there. If this one isn’t feeling you, stop wasting your time. Stop trying so fucking hard and move on to woman who will. She’s out there. Somewhere. Really.

Stop trying so fucking hard.

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3 thoughts on “You Might Think You’re Getting an A for Effort…But Really, Stop Trying so Fucking Hard…

  1. Hilarious.
    Love your blog already.

    As for the idiot, sadly I’ve encountered many like him. What is the point in pestering a woman to like you? If she’s not showing you any kind of interest. Pick your pride up off the floor and keep it moving! Goodness.

    • Haha!

      Welcome to the blog! I seriously don’t know.
      Somewhere, someone told them that persistence is the key to success. In sales, yes. In women, no…not so much.

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