HLBB Presents….the NYE 3 a.m. Girl

Ah, it’s about that time of year…Ladies and Gentlemen – introducing your NYE 3 a.m. Girl. If you’re new and don’t know what a 3 a.m. Girl is, here’s a refresher… Okay, now that you’re caught up. Let’s continue. It’s important to note that a 3 a.m. Girl is a mindset, not a timeline. You can spot a 3 a.m. Girl at 11 p.m. or 2 at in the afternoon.

Some of the most responsible women you know have 3 a.m. Girl moments…like say, dancing on a bar at your birthday party…), but a 3 a.m. Girl is always a 3 a.m. Girl.

On the 31st, it might be hard for you to differ one from the other, so here’s your cheat sheet to tell the difference between a Girl Partying ’til 3 a.m. (PT3AM) and a 3 a.m. Girl (3AG)



Wears a sexy little black dress, a wristlet and high-heeled boots to the club. Drinks champagne and is carrying her phone/pda, cash, debit card, ID, and lip gloss. If so inclined, she has her room key and condoms safely tucked away in the compartment of the wristlet.


Wears sexy LBD sans panties, a clutch that she’ll misplace, open toed shoes to show off the pedicure she got at the chop shop that afternoon. In the compartment of her clutch she has her birth control pill dosage for the next 24 hours, and she’s holding her (soon to be lost) phone because her clutch is too small; her BFF has the key to the room…


Will hit a couple of house parties before the main event and drink a lot of champagne (that way she’ll have a nice buzz before said event). She may even skip the club and stay at rooftop condo party with friends because the music’s good, she’s chipped in for pizza and everyone loves her dress; that way she can enjoy being the most fabulous girl in the room.


She will be pre-drinking in the hotel room she’s rented with her BFF (with an open invite to a few select people) for the night. She can’t remember why she hasn’t had a hotel party since prom, but she’s looking forward to it. She’ll drink whatever is at bottle service because the promoter who invited her said it was free for her all night. She will enjoy the attention she gets by showing off her pole dancing skills to everyone in “VIP”


Can’t believe she let her friends convince her to buy the dress that cuts down to there. But she’s got more double sided tape on than J-Lo at the Grammys and has been going to the gym all year. She remembers the trick her makeup artist friend taught her and throws a little extra bronzer in that area just in case she’s photographed.

Her friends convince her that you can totally see the panty line of her thong under her white dress, so she goes without. She sprays a little extra perfume in the area, just in case, and tries to remember to stand just in case she’s photographed.  
Her circle of friends call all night to get her coordinates (she is party hopping after all). Her ringtone them is “Paper Planes”, because it reminds her of the time they went to that random party in the summer.


Her ex calls all night because he wants to be with her at midnight (and knows that she has a room). Her ringtone for him is Sexy Bitch because he dedicated it to her when they heard it at Ultra in the summer.


The PT3AG can be found at 6 a.m. at an all night diner with friends or asleep in her bed. By 1 p.m. New Year’s Day, she’s having brunch with friends, sans makeup, (with big black sunglasses of course) and enjoying a mimosa with her pancakes. She’s dreading going back to work on Monday but it was a good night…she can’t wait to see the pictures…

The 3AG can be found at 6 a.m. locked out of her hotel room because her so called BFF is acting like a c*nt and won’t open the door. She can’t call because she lost her phone and she had to share a cab with the asshole “promoter” because the limo service ended at 2:30. 

By 1 p.m. you can find her at the Eaton Centre (with a wicked hangover), finally reunited with her shit from the room, getting a new phone from the Rogers store. 

She doesn’t program her ex-BFF’s number because when she checked Facebook after updating the app, she saw that the c*nt posted the picture of her where you can see her coochie…

See you in the New Year darlings…


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