Kiss Kiss…Bang Bang Part 2

(or…sometimes she’s using you for sex)

If you read the first entry of my Kiss Kiss…Bang Bang series (which is all about sexual interactions), here’s the second.

Jump-off (\ˈjəmp\ \ˈȯf\) noun.

a female who is available anytime & anyplace for any type of sexual encounter



Butterfinger (\ˈbə-tər\ \ˈfiŋ-gər\) noun.

a male that is not considered boyfriend material but is usually available for a sexual encounter.

“It may not be Godiva…but at least it’s Butterfinger…” (From Darling Nicky of

Yes guys, it’s true, don’t let the magazines fool you. There are women out there who only want to have sex with you. Whether it’s the need for skin to skin contact, an ego boost, or she just can’t be bothered to go out and buy batteries…you will be that guy she has in the address book under “S” (even if your name starts with “R”)

Sometimes, it’s your ex girlfriend, a friend, or that one girl “you hit it off with”, but never got around to calling. You bump into her one day and…she doesn’t dog you out or pretend that you were in a relationship. After a few moments, you start to reminisce and think “I wonder if that’s still available?”

Guess what? She’s wondering the same thing. You know why she didn’t call/text/stalk your facebook page/BBM/tweet or Ping you? You were okay. Just okay.

She may have acted a fool, but she was acting. She may have invited you to spend the night (or stayed the night) but wasn’t trying to have breakfast in the morning. But now, it’s been a while since you two “hit it off” and she seems agreeable. Agreeable. Not enthusiastic. Not eager. Agreeable.

Because you know sometimes it’s been a while since you’ve had a really good meal, but you just go to the drive through to get a happy meal? Yeah, well she’s been craving Godiva, but here you are with a Butterfinger…so she took it

(Hey, be grateful you’re not a butterface)

Now, if it’s your ex girlfriend, it’s a case of the “devil you know”. She will know exactly what to expect…maybe with the added dash of hope that you’ve learned something in your separation (I’m assuming it was a good break up), or you were a crap boyfriend but the best damn sex she’s ever had. But she doesn’t want you back. This is referred to amongst women as “backsliding”, “trip down memory lane”, or “reduce, reuse, recycle”.

If it’s a friend – please please please tread lightly. My first inclination is to not head down that path at all. I’ve only witnessed 2 friendships come back from crossing that line. Why is she doing it? Well one of two reasons: she’s hoping that sex + friendship = relationship OR that sex + friendship = friends with benefits.

Frankly, I’m always surprised when guys are surprised that women feel this way. *smacks you all upside the head* This is not exclusive to men! Women can and will call you (or wait until you call) and “hit it off” and there. She got what she wanted until the next time she wants it.

Don’t take it personally boo…she’s just not that into you.


5 thoughts on “Kiss Kiss…Bang Bang Part 2

  1. as posted on Twitterfrom @djmainevent – all i can think is "women of the world… we're even."(we were always even baby…you're now just seeing the forest for the trees)

  2. GREAT READ!!!!"Yeah, well she's been craving Godiva, but here you are with a Butterfinger…so she took it"Girl I preach recycle, reduce, reuse and close the loop whenever necessary!

  3. OMG LOL… what in the world is a Butterface? I hope it's not what I think it is… SMH.Very funny and god damnit it's true (some times).

  4. @Flo – lol… guys use the term "butterface" to describe a girl with a banging body, great hair but an ugly face (the term has been applied to Lady Gaga for instance). Basically, they like everything about her "but her face"

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