“Age ain’t nothing but a number, throwing down ain’t nothing but a thing…”
If you’re a guy who doesn’t know who sang that lyric, or the significance of the producer behind it… keep reading.
One of my girlfriends is a few years younger than me, and in the times we’ve gone out, I tend to get hit on by younger guys. But that’s what I get for a: going to clubs where the only people my age are the management and b: because I still get carded when buying liquor. She jokes that I should become a Puma, but then I looked up the definitions and well, uhm.
If you’ve been reading regularly (yes, you are, right?!?!), you know about Charlie Brown and why I cannot even think of dating a man younger than me. I keep joking that with my dating track record, I’m destined to be a Cougar (7 more years!)… so it got me thinking: are there any other aspiring Cougars in my peer group? Where are the Pumas?
Sorry BOYS. Yes, boys. I polled friends, and the ladies on Twitter and the news is NOT in your favour:
“I’ve dated younger and I couldn’t deal w/ certain levels of immaturity…”
“Started flirting with this guy in a bar once, turns out I babysat him 10 years ago. Damn those growth spurts…”
” yes I have and I probably won’t again.”
“Are you considering it again? What happened to the whole “it felt like having a puppy” thing?” (email from a friend…and yes, I did say that)
“yes, and it was quite challenging”
“Experience (as I’ve learned) is worth more to me than good s-e-x, a fancy education, & looks. The young cats don’t have it”
“I thought ‘as long as he’s legal, cool’…but I couldn’t have a decent conversation with him.”
“…he asked if I was on the pill, and I when I said no, I use the ring, he thought it was like the withdrawl method…”
“and so far, one point of praise:
“old men are set in their ways, youts are more flexible -tee hee”
Mind you, two of my girlfriends are married (with children and houses and stuff) to men who are a year or two younger…but I think that’s as far as it goes. Are we saying that May/September relationships work in reality? Or is Nick Cannon a lucky fucker? I’m gonna go with option B on this one.
What you lack in experience, social graces, sexual technique, and the ability to be able to bring more than a 6 pack of Heineken to a BYOB party… you make up for in enthusiasm. Guess what? She is frustrated – and more than just sexually.
She is emotionally frustrated. She has reached a level in her life where she’s got money for both a new pair of shoes AND her phone bill. She cut her hair off, because short hair looks better on her, she’s more adventurous in the bed (or the car, the kitchen, the elevator…) because she’s not worried about being labelled a slut and she knows that it’s okay for her to take control, speak her mind and walk with the swagger that she’s earned.
So, she turns to the unmarried/unattached, childless straight men in her peer group and ta-dah!!
They’re dating the girls who just turned legal, because after a long day at work, he doesn’t feel like being challenged (I’m quoting a friend here – don’t shoot the messenger). Or, they’re not quite ready for marriage or commitment or kids, which is what women coming up on (or past) 30 are looking for apparently; they just want to have fun. So…after a few years of dating guys who have fallen off their game, don’t have phone conversations that last more than 2 minutes, who think that 10 minutes of sex 4 nights a week is a perfectly okay sex life, who’d rather just wait until the movie comes out on DVD… the Puma is created.
Enter you. (figuratively speaking)
BUT, she’s just not that into you.
You call, she’s non-committal. You haven’t met her friends – except for that one who was with her the night you met. She corrects your grammar, giggles when you don’t know the difference between Argentinan and South African wines or thinks it’s cute when you don’t get one of her pop culture or song references. You try to make plans for the weekend and she’s not sure because she may have to catch up on work (again). She has no Facebook status – fuck it, she doesn’t even have Facebook anymore because it was a “time waster”! She thinks your friends’ girlfriends are “sweet, really.” Again, WTF?
Why is she with you then? Well I mean besides the obvious…and this is where that enthusiasm is a big bonus. But now you feel like you really like her. You ADMIRE all that’s she’s accomplished, you think she’s more intelligent, sexy, and funnier than the girls your age but you can’t take it to the next level. What’s up? What are you doing wrong?
It’s not what you’ve done wrong, it’s what you have’t done yet. – well that’s my theory.
We’re going to go and get some answers for you. Stay tuned…in the meantime, post comments below…