Okay fellas, video coming up to support this, but today I wanted to write about the “Gatekeepers”…
Ooops, let me refer to them the way you’re used to: cockblockers. You go out to a club, you start to talk to the girl and her girl swoops in, interrupts or literally drags her away. And you’re left standing there thinking WTF? Or, your GF has that ONE friend who gives you the screwiest of the screw faces every time she sees you, barely utters a hello and even though you’ve been together for YEARS, she has no love for your whatsoever. You could give this girl a kidney and she’d still refer to you as “whatshisname”.
Here’s my theory as to why they exist:
The Gatekeeper of the Club – standards and practices
When a guy chooses a wingman for the club, it’s to facilitate his success. You know, he may want to find a meaningful relationship that lasts for a week or so, and his boy will help him find that minute mate. When a girl chooses a wingwoman, she is there to ensure success.
The girl is a hell of lot more choosy. If she knows her girl isn’t attracted to men shorter than her, she will veto – yes, even if the guy is a great guy (sorry). You’re drunk? She will intercept any pass. You’re doing the stanky leg? Yeah, she will make sure both your stank legs walk home alone and numberless.
YES. There are the crab bucket girls who will be jealous and intercept because she thought you were coming for her, but I have found that 80% of the time, she is protecting her girl from making the wrong choice. If I’ve said this a million times before, I will say it again right now:
You have one chance to make that first impression.
I’m NOT talking about impressing the object of your attention.
If you have started talking to her and she’s talking back. She’s interested. If she smiles (with her eyes)or laughs, she’s interested, if she looks in your eyes while talking, she’s interested. If you say something and she leans in, she’s interested. If she sticks her tongue in your ear while dancing, you’re getting some at some point.
But if the Gatekeeper comes over and says: “We need to go…” or, “I’ve been looking for you!” or,“that pussy is mine!”? It’s likely because the object of your attention has done none of the above, her girl has read her body language (which you have failed to do) and is coming in for the block. We have subtle distress signals that we send out…sometimes even a female stranger will come in and gatekeep if she sees the signal(s). Now, I’ve seen men give the advice that in these situations, you need to deflect the Gatekeeper. Ever wonder why that didn’t work out? Because it was wrong…all you need to do is demonstrate to her that you are not a serial killer, sociopath or asshole (and if you did the stanky leg, that you’re really a better dancer than that). How do you do this?
Be nice to the Gatekeeper – don’t flirt with her or blow smoke up her ass. If it’s not genuine, they’ll put an electric field on that gate.
Continue to make the object of your attention a priority, but don’t try to ignore the Gatekeeper. If she sees that there is genuine mutual interest, she will leave you alone.
Do NOT employ your wingman to intercept. Bad. Bad. Bad. WE all know what a wingman is and their purpose is…she will still be watching and waiting for the signal.
Okay. You’ve succeeded, you got past the gate. Congrats. Don’t. Fuck. It. Up.