Oh…what the fuck? a.k.a. what not to do/say to a woman in a club – PART I


This is for the guys: read carefully, print, email this to others, memorize, because a whole week later, I’m still pissed off.

In a club with friends, walk outside to get some air as it was hotter than summer inside. Come back in and there’s dude who motions me to “come here” (i.e. to where he’s standing). Even if you are the most gorgeous man on earth, you will NOT get a woman to approach you with that move. Unfortunately, I have to walk past him to get back to my friends (no way around it) so I walk by – as far from him as possible and shake my head “no thanks”.

Who told motherfucker that THIS was the signal to grab my wrist and pull me towards him?

Whoa. Remove offending hand and discover the other hand is already on my hip pulling me towards him. Remove offending hand to discover original hand now on my arm and fucker leaning in for a kiss! I untangle myself from Octo-Bastard and quickly make my way back to the gang. This entire exchange took about 10 seconds – this is NOT flirting this is attempted assault.

Go back to my friends but say nothing to the guys in the group as they’re the types to confront a guy like this loser – and they knew the owner, which means a scene and I hate scenes.

Standing with one of the guys I spot Octo-Bastard trying to make his way over to me. I immediately throw myself onto my friend, hugging, nestling my head in his shoulder, typical “we’re a couple” behaviour; one would think that was a hint. But Octo-Bastard is still watching. So, I start dancing with my friend and I danced like I was getting paid for it… I look up and Octo-Bastard has disappeared.

Things go back to normal until my friend moves about 5 feet away from me. Octo-Bastard is BACK and moving in fast for the kill. I swear I felt like one of those fish on shark week. Unbeknownst to him, my friend sees me tense up and inadvertently cockblocks Octo-Bastard when he steps in front of me and asks “are you okay?” I try to lie and say I’m fine (avoiding a scene), he calls me on it and I tell him not to worry…Octo-Bastard has retreated again.

About a half hour later, we start to leave and file out through the club single file. And yes, there’s Octo-Bastard who starts to walk towards me. I put my hand out in protest in a “back off” motion; stupid move on my part. He grabs the wrist and pulls me towards him…my friends did not see that I was separated from the pack (this fucker is a classic predator).
As he pulls me towards him again, viselike grip on wrist and other hand on my waist, he says, “It would be worth your while to stay…”

That’s when I disengaged my hand and gave Octo-Bastard a solid shove in the chest and said “NO! FUCK OFF”.

An hour later I could STILL feel where his eight hands had been… ick ick ick.

moral of story: DO NOT TOUCH A WOMAN UNLESS SHE INVITES YOU TO! I don’t know how many times it has to be said. But do NOT touch her unless she touches you FIRST!
And if you see her dancing/hugging/kissing/flirting with another guy…you DON’T have a chance walk the fuck away!

Ladies: I have attached a composite sketch so that you can recognize this fucker when you’re out.

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5 thoughts on “Oh…what the fuck? a.k.a. what not to do/say to a woman in a club – PART I

  1. i had a dude literally kick me to the floor because i was trying to pry his hands off my wrist and he didn't like that.i really wish men got that this is not okay.

  2. Pingback: Weekend Observations… « she said…he said

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